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My Emotional Holidays

by Grand Fishing Opera

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1.
Sadness is not a constant. I can feel that. I try to solve the equation in indefinite number of unknowns. And I'm stuck in this situation with my friends from high school. Don't start the conversation about Cartesian product and this linear fools. (I can’t explain) Sadness is not a constant.
2.
A gentle wave is flowing over my body. I can not hear the voices anymore, my head is going under the water. When I'm close to the alligators and to the corners, and to the lovers. It feels like I'm in the refrigerator, my body is chilling, the life is grinning. I love my friends and my native places. I'm so scared by unknown faces. We don’t know what to do with all this shit, because this life is not serious.
3.
Crayfish 04:49
My life's the cemetery of my school friends and my extraordinary failures. I am staring at you like a crayfish. At that lake of my intentions I am swimming with the past Like I'm a pretty big and tall fish But I'm just a crayfish at last. And I’m sorry for that. We are sinking in the old car that belongs to friend of mine. Don’t worry. Don’t worry, because we’re sinking in the sunlight. But it’s not a water.
4.
Emiel Regis 02:42
They met him among the ancient dolmens, He smelled of wormwood, sage and cinnamon. He said 'My name is Emiel Regis. I come from Dillingen. I am a surgeon.' He's four hundred years old extremely intelligent vampire. He is considered, to put it mildly, a monster. He appears out of nowhere, disturbing all dogs and cats. And it's so goddamn cool When he’s turning into the big black bat.
5.
And at my seventeenth birthday You came with emptiness and silence. And it's so hard to realize that I'm hiding. And all my friends are making fun of me while I'm trying to find you on this summer Sunday afternoon. I hope you're trying to find me too. Evening roam: Tired sun and I am coming home to settle with some quiet. Do you know that I am really trying to forget my careless desires? Coming home to settle with some failure. Give me please one little favor.
6.
I'm so concerned about my full disorientation and all this stupid masquerades. I didn't know that it would be so sad to left the last school grade. Let’s just pretend that we are okay (when we’re running away). Do you remember this creaking floorboards on the first floor of our school? I found this goddamn words and said that I love you.
7.
Forget all these awkward moments and turn the TV on. I want to see the next «drake and josh» episodes. (I know, I did it many times) Hey, Arnold! Please give me your head. I hope it will help me not to be such a dumbass. (I know, I messed up many times) There’s an evening sun outside the window. It’s 6 pm and I have stuff to watch though.
8.
Rugby! 02:27
We spent a lot of time together. And I know it couldn't be better. Tired and sad. Now it's just the memories. But I love this damn sign on your shirt: it reads "rugby!". And now the childhood is leaving at our 5 AM Caspian swimming. Tired and sad. Now it's just the memories.
9.
I would call you just to ask if you’re okay. Just because I’m fucking lonely again. Did we know that everything would turn out this way? Remember us lying in my empty house, across the room where I grew up. It was before my fucking departure and we were so confused to meet my mom. Did we know that everything would turn out this way? I was in love with your white dress that you wore that day. It’s been almost five years.
10.
I'm hanging out at my home, listening to Midwest emo bands. And I love my 5.11 tactical pants with its "battle brown" coloring. Photographing Tarki Tau mountain is a good way to save the memories About this happiest time in my life that's full of bright images. I'm so fucking happy sitting here in the bus near the pretty girl that I've loved since 8th grade. I'm so fucking happy watching Star Wars episodes with my dad all day long.
11.
I pull the trigger of my social failure. And targets are falling down. They're paper. I don't know why my dreams began to fade. Maybe it's the end of my childhood age. I pull the trigger of my social failure. My damn hit factor is so low. I’m so stable.
12.
No one has an idea what to do with this feeling of totally ruined first love. Studying all day long like I did nothing wrong. Sitting in the corner of my room and watching sad movies. You have a mistaken tendency to treat me as if I were unseen. (I’m so fucking miss you, I’m so scared of you) No one has an idea how to deal with this chilling of our totally broken young hearts.
13.
I can't sleep. I'm looking forward for the big adventures. The bus is waiting near my house. I'm packing up with friends. And I know that it will end, But I can remember it. (You can see gentle shapes of canyons) I can not pretend that all we did was just a coincidence.
14.
He's dancing with his silver sword and the ghouls are screaming. The iron wolf on his chest is shaking: it means that someone will be bleeding. He is said to be even known by the kings from Pontar Valley to Toussaint's throne. Is he just a mutant? He is not just a mutant. He is known to be a famous guy. Elves call him Gwynbleidd. He has white hair and so unusual desires. one of his friends is vampire, another is world known bard. His mistress is the charming sorceress. He's dancing with his silver sword and the ghouls are bleeding. He is involved in the great conspiracies and old prophecies. He is said to be even known by the kings from Pontar Valley to the Nilfgaardian throne. Is he just a mutant? He is not just a mutant.
15.
I can not stay here any longer. My bones became too big. My toys became too fake. I'm getting older. I'm getting colder.
16.
You grew out of your t-shirts, But you just can not throw them away. You love so much this moments, when mom and dad are going to the beach this morning. You're already 18 and you still love the cartoons. You're already happy lying in your own room this summer night. I'm just stuck on Sunday pancake breakfast. I'm just flowing through the foaming river of life. This is how my emotional holidays end.

about

This is the first LP from Grand Fishing Opera. The album was recorded at home, between 2016 and 2018. It's about childhood and growing up.
Dedicated to family and friends.

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released August 31, 2018

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Grand Fishing Opera Dagestan Republic, Russia

2016 - 2019

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